Member of our Advisory Team, psychotherapist Hanna Tekelyesus, shared with us her view on “fear” and how it serves us or how we are serving it. She also shares her advice on which areas our participant of the Theme of the Month should work on, in order to improve the life style they have chosen whether consciously or unconsciously. 

What’s fear?

Fear is nothing but one of the five basic emotional feelings. It is like happiness, sadness, anger and disgust.  All these feelings have a common character, they all come and goand are not permanent. Each feeling has its own purpose as to give you a signal and it will pass away. Fear has nothing different from the other four basic emotional feelings besides giving us an alert of what’s happening inside or outside of us.

How are we serving fear

How fear serves us depends on our choice. If we just allow ourselves to listen to the signal of that feeling or listen to what fear is trying to tell us, it serves us positively. Suppose you are about to face a car accident, if fear helps you to make the better decision by acting on the right time, then is serves you positively. If fear over powers you in that moment and makes you overwhelmed than it was necessary, then you are serving it instead of fear serving you.

If you take fear just as a signal, it serves you to channel your intuition or guidance about what’s happening outside and or inside, and then helps you to react accordingly.

In general, it’s an individual’s choice to take fear simply as an alert, like any other feelings we experienced, or to become inundated by fear itself and miss its purpose.

  How does fear serve us in our life?

 Fear, like any other basic feelings, is an alert to get connected to our intuition, or creator or whatever you want to call it. When we are attentive to our feelings it’s very easy to get connected to our intuition and life. When we are highly intuitive with our feelings, we will be honest with ourselves and others. There will be no room for denial, deceitfulness or cheating.

However, our emotional intelligence has to mature to make us capable of listening to our emotional feelings objectively.

 Does fear serve us positively for our growth?

 Fear can serve us positively, as it’s the channel to give us access to what is about to come. If we can access this channel of feeling, called gut feeling, the signals won’t lead us wrongly. It’s the most honest reflection that does not lie. So, once again, fear is just only a signal to tell us something is going on or about to happen inside or outside. If you give more power to fear than its indication, then it will stop serving you positively. At some point, if we are even fighting not to face our fear, we may need to surrender to our fear by just taking it as an indicator and move on to our response.

 What are the capabilities of fear?

 It’s not the capability of fear that matter rather it depends on how much power you give to fear. What makes you scared may not cause any fear to others. This depends on the value we give to the matter that alerted us by fear and even to fear itself. We can’t have a standard measure to weigh the power of fear.

 Is it possible to live without fear, or is it even necessary to try?

 Why do we have to fight to get rid of fear? It’s one of the important channels that make us connected with life, just like other feelings. Why did not we say, “Is it possible to live without happiness?” It’s equally important. I am not saying we have to have fear, but we don’t need to fight it and its purpose is just to give us alert like any other feelings, so we need fear to stay alerted.

What are the most dominant feelings we experience in our life?

Fear is the most dominant. We do experience fear due to many reasons. We have the need to control everything in our life. We want to control our communications, relationships and job. We also have the perception that our resources are limited. Many other factors can be to assert fear is the most frequent feeling.

 What can we do to overcome our fear?

Trust Life! When you have trust in life or your creator, you don’t need to be afraid of anything. If you notice, the most precious element we need to survive is oxygen, and we are given that in abundance. If you can trust life with such important element of life, other things will be so small to trigger fear in you.

 What do you advise the participant of “Theme of the Month”, called  “what would you do if you were not afraid?” 

From their feeds I have understood that they have a similar demand, which is the need to control. They want to maintain the status of relationships, career and power. In general, the need to control comes from lack of trust. When we have trust in life or what so ever we believe in, we will gain the power to let go off what does not serve us well and we will have trust on the coming possibilities. If so, the career, the relationship, the power or the statuesque won’t be about controlling and it rather becomes about trusting, maintaining or changing it.  If we believe our relationship is deteriorating and we gave up on it; we should be brave enough to let it go and trust the better one will cross our path. Same is true in every other corner of life. So I advise them to let go their controlling attitude and trust life. 

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